Posts Tagged ‘personal empowerment’

As you all know I started a journey of “retracing paths across this country” on December 10th, leaving McCloud/Mt Shasta area and heading southeast for visits with friends in Las Vegas, Santa Fe before heading to Kansas City and Florida to visit my sons. Up until that point I have shared the road trip in several blog postings but since January 1 I have been silent.

My understanding and initial reason for this journey was to retrace and clear threads for the arrival of my grandson at the end of February, early March. I had no idea how it would play out, who would be involved, what would happen and how long I would stay. I thought I would stay until mid March.

So much played out in completely unexpected ways! I will not go into specifics for privacy reasons yet I will say I am not without fault in causing hurt, tears, anger and unraveling in several circumstances. Underneath the surface when a protective glass ceiling was shattered, most involved saw and acted from old and protected fears, not just myself. On all sides much was misunderstood and misperceived because of only having certain pieces of information and vision.

I can only speak for myself, who I am as a Manifestor with strong astrology of fire and water (search Human Design), both my son’s are Manifestors (and  my father) and this fact alone creates incredible challenges in relationships.  To give you the impression that because “of all my wisdom, knowledge and the spiritual path I walk” I am perfect and squeaky clean would be a lie. I am perfectly imperfect as everyone else in the gifts, compassion, love and joy I can bring to life as well as the unintentional hurt I have caused those I love at different times in my life’s experience.

The fear of sharing feelings, hurts, pains and anger by and with others, in appropriate timing, creates deep wounds as infants, children, youth and adults. When these come out the original situation causing the misunderstanding is long gone and all that is left is a festering sore. So often I (using myself as the general example) do not appreciate how others see or even understand my words, humor, doubts or life path. And this is also true in reverse, in seeing others. Then finally when these fears and feelings are exposed they are coated with muck and sludge of many unrelated past experiences only amplified in the present, blurring the lines of right and wrong and good and bad.

The awareness I have gained is such a blessing. Humility and vulnerability have opened new doors to my heart. I believe my relationships with my sons most specifically have strengthened in ways beyond explanation. We have a greater understanding of what it means to “follow the guidance and pull of the heart”, to share “truth” in the moment and understand one’s soul journey is greater than societal constraints.  They are free to journey with the new families they choose to embrace with my blessing and love as the mother they chose.

And it is now we await the arrival of sweet Brayden William to shine his light and love as no other….for this is the unique role of each one of Planet Earth.

Florida and Return

The physical journey of driving so many miles also taught me a great deal. My little girl arrived in KC with squeaks, rattles and stiffness. While there she got a rest as I chose to fly to Tampa instead of drive. Mathew and Shannon live near a small beach so the daily walks and wading in the water was wonderful. Shannon and I shopped the farmer’s market on Saturday, I enjoyed cooking for them, talking and sharing, assembling the baby crib and just being for 10 days. Plus the weather was wonderful! I left Mathew and Shannon to enjoy their last two months of togetherness knowing I’ll return (by air next time) to welcome Brayden and visit a friend or two on the East Florida coast.

Returning to KC gave Jerame and me a wonderful opportunity to share a fabulous dinner and talk. Deep inside I knew the retracing was complete, at least for now. It was time to leave, “let him grow in his life journey” and for me to “do what I need to do!”

The trip to Kansas City was 2,000 miles, give or take a mile. During the drive time and endless miles I listened to tapes made of the meditation chants and flutes. Although they were played over and over again I never tired of them. There was also much quiet time along the way, to think and observe. On previous road trips I had plenty of books on tape, not this time, wasn’t important!

Last Tuesday, January 11th I began the next part, the return to California. I would begin by driving north from KC into Nebraska where I hoped to reach Grand Island on the first night. It was about a 6 hour trip following Hwys 475, 29 and 80. This was also retracing as we had lived in Grand Island for three years in the 90s and it had been an extremely challenging experience.

About 4:00pm just 50 miles from GI a strange noise, the temp gauge in the red zone and panic! Pulling over with traffic speeding by, the temperature around 10 deg, I opened the hood to see fluids, water everywhere. Thankfully I had road service with State Farm. The young woman stayed on the line while arranging for a tow. Two farmers stopped to kindly offer assistance. By the time the tow truck arrived it was just about dark. He took me to York, NE, a small town of 8000 + population. The next day I spent waiting for the water pump to be replaced and I finally drove out of there at 4:30pm.

During the day I had the intuition to try couch surfing in Cheyenne, WY (7 hours from York).

A young woman named Tara offer her home and so I arrived there about 11pm, just after she arrived home from work as an airline dispatcher. Tara was gracious and friendly. Her friend Brian came over to visit and we all sat up until nearly 2am chatting. They both have private pilot licenses and it was fun sharing stories of their work and flying adventures. Made me remember when I had taken a flying lesson and studied for a short while to get a license many years ago.

The next morning, Wednesday, I left Cheyenne and made it to Evanston, WY, another seven hour drive across the wide open lands. All the way across Wyoming’s landscape there are oil/natural gas wells and power plants. There is also the occasional small prison facility. The winds that day were amazing. Signs on the highway warned of 40-60 mph winds, light trailers not advised. This is when I was thankful for the extra weight of stuff in the car. Arriving after dark I found a hotel and rested.

Thursday morning was cold, windy and overcast. Evanston is on the west end of Wyoming just a few miles from the Utah line. After about 50 miles I saw a sign “Reno – 550 miles”. Oh my, can I make it!  Salt Lake City was mid way and I didn’t want to stay there…hotel prices are way too high because of ski season. I drove all the way across Utah, passed the Great Salt Lake, entered Nevada and kept driving, only stopping for gas breaks. Nevada is even more desolate with points on the map but no services. Where WY had wells, NV has prisons scattered across it, spaced about 100 miles + between each one. There is big money in prisons. If towns are built around them they have to keep them filled for economic growth, this is a sad testimony to society and optimism in life!

Most of the miles across NV were in silence and I was amazed that tiredness never entered my mind. Looking at the map I chose to bypass Reno and go through Carson City. (In hindsight it was crazy!) I arrived in Carson City just as it was getting dark and the traffic getting heavier. Trying to follow signs that detour was awful. Heading up the Tahoe hill at the summit I thought I was going the wrong way, did a U-turn and went down to ask directions at a gas station. She sent me back up the hill and farther on around the lake to connect with Hwy 50 to Placerville. This proved to be a horrendous white knuckle drive of 170 miles, arriving in Placerville at 10:30pm.  A hotel was tempting until a price of $99 + was quoted. Only another couple of hours to my destination of Sonora…I could make it and I still felt surprisingly good. Another cup of coffee and hit Hwy 49, by day a scenic winding road…at night it was a little more challenging, especially when I missed a turn and ended up 10 miles in the wrong direction.

I finally pulled into the home of Andre and Stephanie at 1:30am on Friday morning. Allowing for time changes I arrived 17 hours (800 miles) after leaving Evanston, WY on Thursday morning. If there was any doubt that I should not have returned to California, this feat disproved that. Still not ready for sleep, Stephanie and I sat up a talked over several glasses of wine until nearly 5am.

Now I am resting, reflecting and realigning for what is next. I feel the need to settle, ground and refine my work as a communicator and awakener….the title of my theater production has taken on new meaning also… “Awakening and Igniting Ecstasy In-Formation”. I’m not sure what it will look like, however, I hope you will join me on that journey.

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Without the dark one cannot see the power of the Light

Without violence one cannot know Peace is the answer

Without hate one cannot know Compassion

Without adversity one cannot learn Respect

Without power one cannot understand Surrender

Without greed one cannot learn generosity

Without possessions one learns freedom

Without Light there is no Love




The Birth of Spring

In a few days we move from the confines of winter’s hibernation into the spring’s potential birth. At least this is so in the northern hemisphere with the mirror reflection shining up from the southern hemisphere which prepares for fall harvest and later hibernation.

Being born in Australia, the southern hemisphere, my birthday is the week after this seasonal turn into autumn (fall), yet living for many years in America where this turn of seasons is the advent of new birth, I have often wondered how it has influenced my perceptions of life.  In order to find an answer I usually search deep underneath to find the light above!

Balance is so important, yet this can only really be found from knowing the extremes and then moving into center. As the words above reflect without one the other cannot be experienced, seen, honored or corrected.

To find the truth of what is on the surface it is necessary to delve into the depths and behind the scenes, into the unknown. Yet I am not telling you anything that has not been said before.

Reflect upon the words above. The actions and patterns within your life and world around you only need to shift the slightest fraction in order to manifest anew. The tiniest speck of light in darkness reveals much once eyes adjust to the light quotient. The darkness then becomes non-existent.

And the smallest adjustment in violence, hate, adversity, power, and greed is equally felt to change a paradigm.

Fear not the tiny speck for it is the collection of specks that ignite the universe. Birth in pure form! 

So much of my work with clients, writings and my own personal search of purpose lead back to the beginning, a place that is infinitely untouchable in this reality yet profoundly touchable deep within my core. All the edicts on DNA, RNA, protons, neutrons, and atomic particles are still within the physical domain. We must seek far beyond, is what I have been shown. Thus the question comes up: what comes first the Chicken or the Egg? To have a chicken it has to start with an egg. Then where did the egg originate from before it energized into the possibility of the physical!

Here I have included a short piece given to me on possibilities. This will be a continuing series of stories, ideas, perspectives and possibilities shown over the past several years. Each one will offer a glimpse into worlds not seen yet are so very real. It is not for me to say they are correct or otherwise. They offer you, the reader, an opportunity to form your own opinion and later knowing to aid your journey.  View this first one as a possible opening scene in a play.  


Where Does The Knowing and Life Come From?

Preparing for the next incarnation!


The following images are created to provoke memory and ideas of the possible evolution of soul memory processes from our human perspective. This of course is the only perspective we can come from, at least until we are able to tap into the true higher divine realms of spiritual knowledge behind the ever thinning veils.

IMAGINE you have just walked into a huge library, perhaps reminiscent of the Library of Alexandria and your goal is to create a life experience for the next incarnation. Where to start? Is there a format? Do you want to live again?

You begin as formless swirling light vibrations that flow and dart unseen around the library. So many choices! (I feel this image is reminiscent of a snowball of millions of light vibration snowflakes, each snowflake holding its own memory of experience from some time so very long ago, while other combinations are of specific times in history moving towards this latest life experience. Different parents, people, thoughts, scenarios, emotions, challenges, genders, good and bad, peaceful and violent, rich and poor, and the list goes on and on, all culminating in the possible creation frequency for the upcoming incarnation. (This description also relates back to the beginning of Soul’s Evolution)

As the formless light vibration snowball moves around  the library, books randomly start falling off the shelves landing on the floor and opened to pages which reveal different colored and highlighted chapters, sentences and words, At first glance there seems to be no purpose or logic behind this experience, yet in time a grander picture begins to be revealed.

Swirling light vibration scenes emanate from the highlights. They begin in ancient times, before written memory where earthly words to describe them are present. What seem to be galaxies and stars spark knowledge while descending through time/space to an earthly realm.

Advanced beings of light and crystal, and the beauty of nature unsurpassed are revealed. The light vibration snowball fills and grows with beauty, knowing, purpose and love extraordinaire.  The “mythical” continents of Lyra, Lemuria, Mu and Atlantis, and perhaps places we have not known before, along with ancient deserts, savannahs, rainforests, mountains, seas locales fill the cells of knowing to stories. The formless light vibration snowball shifts along another wall of books and a dark cloud engulfs time. Emotions of pain, despair, anger swirl up from the pages. Faces distorted, male, female, young, old, well, sick, rich, poor play out within time/space, leaving their imprint within the snowball memory of loss, fear, abandonment and revenge. The imprint of varying places and timeframes are sealed in what will become the Soul Snowball.

The swirling light vibration continues around the library gathering more and more diverse scenarios of past earthly incarnations. Such changing roles as mother, father, children, holy and evil, protector, hangman, royalty, peasant, farmer, technician, artist, thinker, gypsy, and hermit, become a representation of life’s full gamut.   Places we know today as Greece, Mayaland, China, Middle East, Scotland, France, South Dakota, England, Australia to name but a few possibilities.

Each scenario could be as short as a moment, while others as long as an earthly lifetime, quietly build life story lines onto previous incarnations. They show completed stories, incomplete stories, personalities both complete and in turmoil. Some are of a lonesome journey, while others include many people and players. Family, friends, strangers, loving and hateful, powerful and weak, yet words of current languages are so far from being adequate or accurate to express all the wonders unfolding.

Upon completion of this light vibration snowball a merging of Divine Grace is infused to be held in suspension until called upon to incarnate in the next present time.

As you let the pictures and memories within you resonate to the surface similarities to your own life may be evident. Make notes; see patterns and stories from within to see what you are being shown about Life.

In the days to come the view will expand further. Keep revisiting and rediscovering!

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