Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘NE’

As you all know I started a journey of “retracing paths across this country” on December 10th, leaving McCloud/Mt Shasta area and heading southeast for visits with friends in Las Vegas, Santa Fe before heading to Kansas City and Florida to visit my sons. Up until that point I have shared the road trip in several blog postings but since January 1 I have been silent.

My understanding and initial reason for this journey was to retrace and clear threads for the arrival of my grandson at the end of February, early March. I had no idea how it would play out, who would be involved, what would happen and how long I would stay. I thought I would stay until mid March.

So much played out in completely unexpected ways! I will not go into specifics for privacy reasons yet I will say I am not without fault in causing hurt, tears, anger and unraveling in several circumstances. Underneath the surface when a protective glass ceiling was shattered, most involved saw and acted from old and protected fears, not just myself. On all sides much was misunderstood and misperceived because of only having certain pieces of information and vision.

I can only speak for myself, who I am as a Manifestor with strong astrology of fire and water (search Human Design), both my son’s are Manifestors (and  my father) and this fact alone creates incredible challenges in relationships.  To give you the impression that because “of all my wisdom, knowledge and the spiritual path I walk” I am perfect and squeaky clean would be a lie. I am perfectly imperfect as everyone else in the gifts, compassion, love and joy I can bring to life as well as the unintentional hurt I have caused those I love at different times in my life’s experience.

The fear of sharing feelings, hurts, pains and anger by and with others, in appropriate timing, creates deep wounds as infants, children, youth and adults. When these come out the original situation causing the misunderstanding is long gone and all that is left is a festering sore. So often I (using myself as the general example) do not appreciate how others see or even understand my words, humor, doubts or life path. And this is also true in reverse, in seeing others. Then finally when these fears and feelings are exposed they are coated with muck and sludge of many unrelated past experiences only amplified in the present, blurring the lines of right and wrong and good and bad.

The awareness I have gained is such a blessing. Humility and vulnerability have opened new doors to my heart. I believe my relationships with my sons most specifically have strengthened in ways beyond explanation. We have a greater understanding of what it means to “follow the guidance and pull of the heart”, to share “truth” in the moment and understand one’s soul journey is greater than societal constraints.  They are free to journey with the new families they choose to embrace with my blessing and love as the mother they chose.

And it is now we await the arrival of sweet Brayden William to shine his light and love as no other….for this is the unique role of each one of Planet Earth.

Florida and Return

The physical journey of driving so many miles also taught me a great deal. My little girl arrived in KC with squeaks, rattles and stiffness. While there she got a rest as I chose to fly to Tampa instead of drive. Mathew and Shannon live near a small beach so the daily walks and wading in the water was wonderful. Shannon and I shopped the farmer’s market on Saturday, I enjoyed cooking for them, talking and sharing, assembling the baby crib and just being for 10 days. Plus the weather was wonderful! I left Mathew and Shannon to enjoy their last two months of togetherness knowing I’ll return (by air next time) to welcome Brayden and visit a friend or two on the East Florida coast.

Returning to KC gave Jerame and me a wonderful opportunity to share a fabulous dinner and talk. Deep inside I knew the retracing was complete, at least for now. It was time to leave, “let him grow in his life journey” and for me to “do what I need to do!”

The trip to Kansas City was 2,000 miles, give or take a mile. During the drive time and endless miles I listened to tapes made of the meditation chants and flutes. Although they were played over and over again I never tired of them. There was also much quiet time along the way, to think and observe. On previous road trips I had plenty of books on tape, not this time, wasn’t important!

Last Tuesday, January 11th I began the next part, the return to California. I would begin by driving north from KC into Nebraska where I hoped to reach Grand Island on the first night. It was about a 6 hour trip following Hwys 475, 29 and 80. This was also retracing as we had lived in Grand Island for three years in the 90s and it had been an extremely challenging experience.

About 4:00pm just 50 miles from GI a strange noise, the temp gauge in the red zone and panic! Pulling over with traffic speeding by, the temperature around 10 deg, I opened the hood to see fluids, water everywhere. Thankfully I had road service with State Farm. The young woman stayed on the line while arranging for a tow. Two farmers stopped to kindly offer assistance. By the time the tow truck arrived it was just about dark. He took me to York, NE, a small town of 8000 + population. The next day I spent waiting for the water pump to be replaced and I finally drove out of there at 4:30pm.

During the day I had the intuition to try couch surfing in Cheyenne, WY (7 hours from York).

A young woman named Tara offer her home and so I arrived there about 11pm, just after she arrived home from work as an airline dispatcher. Tara was gracious and friendly. Her friend Brian came over to visit and we all sat up until nearly 2am chatting. They both have private pilot licenses and it was fun sharing stories of their work and flying adventures. Made me remember when I had taken a flying lesson and studied for a short while to get a license many years ago.

The next morning, Wednesday, I left Cheyenne and made it to Evanston, WY, another seven hour drive across the wide open lands. All the way across Wyoming’s landscape there are oil/natural gas wells and power plants. There is also the occasional small prison facility. The winds that day were amazing. Signs on the highway warned of 40-60 mph winds, light trailers not advised. This is when I was thankful for the extra weight of stuff in the car. Arriving after dark I found a hotel and rested.

Thursday morning was cold, windy and overcast. Evanston is on the west end of Wyoming just a few miles from the Utah line. After about 50 miles I saw a sign “Reno – 550 miles”. Oh my, can I make it!  Salt Lake City was mid way and I didn’t want to stay there…hotel prices are way too high because of ski season. I drove all the way across Utah, passed the Great Salt Lake, entered Nevada and kept driving, only stopping for gas breaks. Nevada is even more desolate with points on the map but no services. Where WY had wells, NV has prisons scattered across it, spaced about 100 miles + between each one. There is big money in prisons. If towns are built around them they have to keep them filled for economic growth, this is a sad testimony to society and optimism in life!

Most of the miles across NV were in silence and I was amazed that tiredness never entered my mind. Looking at the map I chose to bypass Reno and go through Carson City. (In hindsight it was crazy!) I arrived in Carson City just as it was getting dark and the traffic getting heavier. Trying to follow signs that detour was awful. Heading up the Tahoe hill at the summit I thought I was going the wrong way, did a U-turn and went down to ask directions at a gas station. She sent me back up the hill and farther on around the lake to connect with Hwy 50 to Placerville. This proved to be a horrendous white knuckle drive of 170 miles, arriving in Placerville at 10:30pm.  A hotel was tempting until a price of $99 + was quoted. Only another couple of hours to my destination of Sonora…I could make it and I still felt surprisingly good. Another cup of coffee and hit Hwy 49, by day a scenic winding road…at night it was a little more challenging, especially when I missed a turn and ended up 10 miles in the wrong direction.

I finally pulled into the home of Andre and Stephanie at 1:30am on Friday morning. Allowing for time changes I arrived 17 hours (800 miles) after leaving Evanston, WY on Thursday morning. If there was any doubt that I should not have returned to California, this feat disproved that. Still not ready for sleep, Stephanie and I sat up a talked over several glasses of wine until nearly 5am.

Now I am resting, reflecting and realigning for what is next. I feel the need to settle, ground and refine my work as a communicator and awakener….the title of my theater production has taken on new meaning also… “Awakening and Igniting Ecstasy In-Formation”. I’m not sure what it will look like, however, I hope you will join me on that journey.


Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: