Posts Tagged ‘mother’s day’

Today is the celebration of Mother’s Day. The day our advertising world tells and demands that the role of Mother is to be honored and remembered, most especially by purchasing “the unforgettable items or services for the one who gave you life!”  Sentiments to absolutely touch the heart and wallet or bigger, the bank account.

Yet beyond all this, the celebration of Mother’s Day is filled with bitter sweet and sweet bitter memories for infinite numbers all across the world.

Today there are those rejoicing in the wonders of new motherhood, like my daughter-in-law, Shannon. Along with my son Mathew, they are learning the nuances of the vital new personality named Brayden. In the role of “grandmother” I reminisce on those same days many years earlier, at the births of both Jerame and Mathew. Then following the threads forward until today, I remember as only I can.

And this takes me to remember my mother who is now 86 years old, living in Australia. We will talk today yet as usual the conversation will be short and more of a repeat of our last conversations…..she does not get out because she is not able to walk very well and her hearing appears to be selective at times….”I can’t hear you” is often repeated, yet if I were to mention or worse yet ask for money…..her attention would be snapped into focus and clarity be razor sharp! This makes me smile now though in the past it had been a bone of contention to say the least.  Today I remember so much and send her love through the ether’s of our hearts that have always been connected……from birth and beyond!


This day is not so sweet for others. For mothers so loved who are not here any longer; those who have rifts and caverns or great canyons of despair, anger or worse yet hate so unresolved, there is little sweetness.

Loss of a mother, loss of a father, loss of a child, loss of a friend, loss of an enemy…….all this and then the loss of oneself!

One day back in 2005 while living outside Washington DC I was drawn to visit Arlington Cemetery. It was a visit I had resisted several times. On that day with camera in hand I filmed the scene. Walking along the paths, each side lined with row upon row of white crosses, I filmed not knowing why it was important.

Return to Arlington video

If you have not visited this place it is very hard to imagine! It is the size of a small town. It is laid out as such, street after street offering different views and landscapes. No houses…just white crosses…..etheric residences.

The result of this day was a short quite powerful video piece called “Return to Arlington”. (Although my camera quality at the time was not fabulous, the message within it is powerful and thought-provoking…and revealed itself again today as I prepared to write this entry.)

Here are a few lines which are particularly poignant for today and the days around us.

“Breathe in life, breathe in death….It is one and the same….a mirror of our times…………….

A mother cries in a distant land, the child she bore is here no more.

There is no home on this land here….this land here is the same on a distant shore.

A wail, a cry, an anguished heart

Who says what’s right!  Who says what’s not! …………………………….

It is time for silence no more!

How many more mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, sons and daughters must return to THIS resting place


On this day of honoring Mother, The Mother, Our Mothers, the feminine birth with each woman and each man…..

Can we hear and feel our Soul’s cry ENOUGH!

Can we hear and feel our Heart’s cry ENOUGH!

Can we hear and feel and BELIEVE the world has LOST enough!



If so……Say so!…….Write and Feel and Believe

“my Inner Soul has had enough…..I claim back myself and I claim back my Nation and I claim back the Mother!”

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Mother’s Day           In honor of my mother and all facets of creation therein.

Resolving issues, contracts, obligations, misunderstandings, expectations and disconnections around our own mothers, ourselves as mothers, the mother essence within each man, as well as the greater yin/feminine essence within the universal ether is so prevalent in my life as well as so many others I know over these past few months.

I am working to transmute and transcend some of the threads of “stuff” held with and by my mother and her lineage going back many generations. To find the time/space of the original pure feminine divinity essence and bring it forward through the quagmire of lost feminine understanding, wisdom, desire, purpose, love and compassion as a result of long term  male/patriarchal dominance.

This is not male bashing in any way for men have suffered perhaps a greater injustice through the times past. While it took to the 1800s or thereabouts for women’s voices and the suffragette movement to ignite, it has taken until the 21st century for men to truly have permission, on a mass scale, to claim, honor and work with the feminine essence, devoid of labeling and general image constructs.

Those who have chosen to experience the homosexual and lesbian roles throughout history and in this lifetime have shown everything from extreme behaviors tipping opposite scales to living in perfect balance of integrated male/female roles. This has been expressed as incredible creativity, business success in varying degrees, and all disciplines of expression, both good and challenging.

Mothering cannot happen in a singular unit. It is a co-operative union of two or more. Who, where, why and what joins determines the seed essence dynamics, and this union is not just physical. The birth of ideas, creativity and the merging with nature, animals and all life is a mothering union.

Yet it is the life play that determines characters, personalities, emotional and mental moods within the matrix. Within each mothering union there are dozens, hundreds or perhaps thousands of intricate scenarios from the earliest moment of life to the last breathe of that same life.

In the past weeks several of these have surfaced for me to acknowledge and move beyond. I offer these examples as a thumbnail sketch. They may seem familiar to many of you.

My mother was an incredible artist until the day she received some news that rocked her world and she never picked up a paint brush or charcoal again. As far as I am concerned, this was a tragedy far worse than the news she received, because it “jaded” her spirit and had an incredible effect on how I perceived my own creative evolution and expression. I was around 12 or 13 years old at the time.

Prior to this event, many an hour I sat as her model, most usually dressed as Les Sylphides, Odette in Swan Lake or similar. The angelic dancer image! She had trained at the best art school in Sydney and later under the tutorship of some very well known artists of the time. She enjoyed oils far more than water colors but it was her charcoals that breathed life onto the paper.

The few portraits she did of men did not have the same power as her women and children. I later realized this was linked to her personal pain and loss of the father presence and men in general from her very beginning.

One of her most powerful portraits was of Brigit. A beautiful, young Irish woman who just happened to be a prostitute in Kings Cross, Sydney in the mid sixties. Mother captured her young, sensual, innocent essence and all who looked at the portrait were mesmerized. This was the case with virtually all her work, yet she often did not see it or perhaps did not want to see it.

I have been gifted by my mother with intense sensitivity of feelings. Growing up I was always told this was a fault to be overcome; yet, now it is my greatest indicator of truth. Mother honored this sensitivity in her art yet seldom in her personal being and life.

Even though special commissions were requested there was always a lack of value of herself and this thread was passed onto her children. As I work on this personal thread I hope to dissolve it for my mother, sister and our lineage back to where original purity can be found, this is my goal!

There is also another side that goes along with the lack of value. I am so very much like my father. We are Aries, quick thinkers, risk takers, visionaries, and impulsive, etc. all in varying degrees. So often her logical Gemini twin would take over as our dreams/ visions/ ideas were birthing in varying stages, concepts often ahead of time, beyond acceptable logic, outside financial reality, etc. Mother’s silence or biting comments would drown the creative spirit so fast. For me this had devastating effects at times. My father’s tenacity has kept him going and creating even now at 88 years old. Many times mother was right, at least to a point, yet once soaked, the spark is never quite as bright or just goes out completely. Fear has created all responses.

To keep creative sparks ignited even now, I need to choose wisely and intuitively, listen to my heart and soul as to my paths, lessons, gifts of mastery, experience and life, while navigating with, through and alongside the varying friends, relationships, commitments, fields of thought and personalities, all simultaneously offering visions, projections and reflections of the Sacred Mother within wishing to constantly Birth New Life.

What has this remembrance brought up for you and the Sacred Mothers in your life? Honor then, not just today, every day for all to be constantly New!

Seasons at Castle Lake

Mt Shasta, California

Summer photo – August 2009                                                                                                      Winter photos taken May  5 2010  in the middle of the lake

View from  marked location on opposite photo

According to UC Davis researchers drilling for water samples,

as of 5/5/2010ice thickness is greater than 9ft.

How long will it take to melt!

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