Posts Tagged ‘chanting’

Sacred Entry Mandala latest painting completed

Watching the movie Julie & Julia the other night reactivated the desire for the Muse to write again. Following the unfolding of Julie Powell’s journey through Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” bought many moments of laughter, remembering Paris and the desire to eat wonderful French cuisine.

Although deemed a chick flick my friend thoroughly enjoyed the characters, antics, amazing food and of course Paris once again.

The break in writing has been long – too long – last entry way back in June while I was in Taos, NM.

After an absence of nine months from Mount Shasta I returned the second week of July to the mountain and waters I love and that feel more like home with each return, this one especially. On my way back from Taos I attended the 10 day Solstice Retreat of yoga, meditation and teaching at the Yogi Bhajan Puri outside of Espanola, NM. Powerful times with wonderful people and many experiences beyond words.earthship in Taos

From there I drove to Santa Rosa for a few days rest and then onto Santa Cruz for the 4 day West Coast Dowsing Conference where I presented on “Our Lives as Living Matrices” and my 12 x 15 foot Walking for World Peace Labyrinth, many experiencing its powerful healing and illuminating energies while walking it paths.

It was from here I headed north to the mountain. A day earlier my mother passed, albeit it occurred 12,000 miles away in Australia. My son was with her and in the last phone call he held the phone up and I talked to her and remembered for 20 minutes or so. Suddenly the connection dropped out. Jerame called back a few minutes later

flowers in drought at 10,000 ft

flowers in drought at 10,000 ft

and said “she has passed”. I am so grateful for those moments we had. Ours had been a mother/daughter relationship often of challenge and I had not been to Australia for twelve years, each attempt stopped for lack of funds or issues going on.

The moments afterwards were amazing. I literally knew she was free, liberated and happy as never before. I saw “her essence” and still do as never before also and I still do feel and know she is close to me. It has been the most unexpected experience and I am grateful.

I have also found my life and Being has changed and I am more content, joyful and blessed that ever before it seems. I am experiencing something she desired yet never was able to have or attain and I believe her heart is rejoicing from such healing.

south gate meadow, mt shastaThis time in Mount Shasta has been special for many reasons. Beautiful hikes to South Gate (aka Squaw Meadow); Panther Meadow, Castle Lake, camping on the mountain, singing, cooking new recipes, sharing with lots of laughter accompanied by a dear friend. Friendship, laughter, challenge, love, respect – all these make a powerful mixture.

Also new and former clients have surfaced requesting my guidance and assistance. Several very powerful sessions with them have facilitated awakenings, healing and new life perspectives for their consideration. This work is where I take Life Coaching to the realm of Life Alchemy.

The Muse’s quiet appearance came with a push to create an E-Book (as it is faster than regular publishing) of my Art, Stories and Poetry with the dedication to my grand children most specifically. “Something for them to know more about you, as Mehmah, when they are older”. With such a purpose it is more likely to get completed! At least so far there are 15 + pages committed.

music on the mountainUpon rising each day I ask

“And how does it get better than this!”

And remember

“Anyone or anything that does not make you come alive is TOO SMALL for YOU!

Origin  of quotes unknown


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As you all know I started a journey of “retracing paths across this country” on December 10th, leaving McCloud/Mt Shasta area and heading southeast for visits with friends in Las Vegas, Santa Fe before heading to Kansas City and Florida to visit my sons. Up until that point I have shared the road trip in several blog postings but since January 1 I have been silent.

My understanding and initial reason for this journey was to retrace and clear threads for the arrival of my grandson at the end of February, early March. I had no idea how it would play out, who would be involved, what would happen and how long I would stay. I thought I would stay until mid March.

So much played out in completely unexpected ways! I will not go into specifics for privacy reasons yet I will say I am not without fault in causing hurt, tears, anger and unraveling in several circumstances. Underneath the surface when a protective glass ceiling was shattered, most involved saw and acted from old and protected fears, not just myself. On all sides much was misunderstood and misperceived because of only having certain pieces of information and vision.

I can only speak for myself, who I am as a Manifestor with strong astrology of fire and water (search Human Design), both my son’s are Manifestors (and  my father) and this fact alone creates incredible challenges in relationships.  To give you the impression that because “of all my wisdom, knowledge and the spiritual path I walk” I am perfect and squeaky clean would be a lie. I am perfectly imperfect as everyone else in the gifts, compassion, love and joy I can bring to life as well as the unintentional hurt I have caused those I love at different times in my life’s experience.

The fear of sharing feelings, hurts, pains and anger by and with others, in appropriate timing, creates deep wounds as infants, children, youth and adults. When these come out the original situation causing the misunderstanding is long gone and all that is left is a festering sore. So often I (using myself as the general example) do not appreciate how others see or even understand my words, humor, doubts or life path. And this is also true in reverse, in seeing others. Then finally when these fears and feelings are exposed they are coated with muck and sludge of many unrelated past experiences only amplified in the present, blurring the lines of right and wrong and good and bad.

The awareness I have gained is such a blessing. Humility and vulnerability have opened new doors to my heart. I believe my relationships with my sons most specifically have strengthened in ways beyond explanation. We have a greater understanding of what it means to “follow the guidance and pull of the heart”, to share “truth” in the moment and understand one’s soul journey is greater than societal constraints.  They are free to journey with the new families they choose to embrace with my blessing and love as the mother they chose.

And it is now we await the arrival of sweet Brayden William to shine his light and love as no other….for this is the unique role of each one of Planet Earth.

Florida and Return

The physical journey of driving so many miles also taught me a great deal. My little girl arrived in KC with squeaks, rattles and stiffness. While there she got a rest as I chose to fly to Tampa instead of drive. Mathew and Shannon live near a small beach so the daily walks and wading in the water was wonderful. Shannon and I shopped the farmer’s market on Saturday, I enjoyed cooking for them, talking and sharing, assembling the baby crib and just being for 10 days. Plus the weather was wonderful! I left Mathew and Shannon to enjoy their last two months of togetherness knowing I’ll return (by air next time) to welcome Brayden and visit a friend or two on the East Florida coast.

Returning to KC gave Jerame and me a wonderful opportunity to share a fabulous dinner and talk. Deep inside I knew the retracing was complete, at least for now. It was time to leave, “let him grow in his life journey” and for me to “do what I need to do!”

The trip to Kansas City was 2,000 miles, give or take a mile. During the drive time and endless miles I listened to tapes made of the meditation chants and flutes. Although they were played over and over again I never tired of them. There was also much quiet time along the way, to think and observe. On previous road trips I had plenty of books on tape, not this time, wasn’t important!

Last Tuesday, January 11th I began the next part, the return to California. I would begin by driving north from KC into Nebraska where I hoped to reach Grand Island on the first night. It was about a 6 hour trip following Hwys 475, 29 and 80. This was also retracing as we had lived in Grand Island for three years in the 90s and it had been an extremely challenging experience.

About 4:00pm just 50 miles from GI a strange noise, the temp gauge in the red zone and panic! Pulling over with traffic speeding by, the temperature around 10 deg, I opened the hood to see fluids, water everywhere. Thankfully I had road service with State Farm. The young woman stayed on the line while arranging for a tow. Two farmers stopped to kindly offer assistance. By the time the tow truck arrived it was just about dark. He took me to York, NE, a small town of 8000 + population. The next day I spent waiting for the water pump to be replaced and I finally drove out of there at 4:30pm.

During the day I had the intuition to try couch surfing in Cheyenne, WY (7 hours from York).

A young woman named Tara offer her home and so I arrived there about 11pm, just after she arrived home from work as an airline dispatcher. Tara was gracious and friendly. Her friend Brian came over to visit and we all sat up until nearly 2am chatting. They both have private pilot licenses and it was fun sharing stories of their work and flying adventures. Made me remember when I had taken a flying lesson and studied for a short while to get a license many years ago.

The next morning, Wednesday, I left Cheyenne and made it to Evanston, WY, another seven hour drive across the wide open lands. All the way across Wyoming’s landscape there are oil/natural gas wells and power plants. There is also the occasional small prison facility. The winds that day were amazing. Signs on the highway warned of 40-60 mph winds, light trailers not advised. This is when I was thankful for the extra weight of stuff in the car. Arriving after dark I found a hotel and rested.

Thursday morning was cold, windy and overcast. Evanston is on the west end of Wyoming just a few miles from the Utah line. After about 50 miles I saw a sign “Reno – 550 miles”. Oh my, can I make it!  Salt Lake City was mid way and I didn’t want to stay there…hotel prices are way too high because of ski season. I drove all the way across Utah, passed the Great Salt Lake, entered Nevada and kept driving, only stopping for gas breaks. Nevada is even more desolate with points on the map but no services. Where WY had wells, NV has prisons scattered across it, spaced about 100 miles + between each one. There is big money in prisons. If towns are built around them they have to keep them filled for economic growth, this is a sad testimony to society and optimism in life!

Most of the miles across NV were in silence and I was amazed that tiredness never entered my mind. Looking at the map I chose to bypass Reno and go through Carson City. (In hindsight it was crazy!) I arrived in Carson City just as it was getting dark and the traffic getting heavier. Trying to follow signs that detour was awful. Heading up the Tahoe hill at the summit I thought I was going the wrong way, did a U-turn and went down to ask directions at a gas station. She sent me back up the hill and farther on around the lake to connect with Hwy 50 to Placerville. This proved to be a horrendous white knuckle drive of 170 miles, arriving in Placerville at 10:30pm.  A hotel was tempting until a price of $99 + was quoted. Only another couple of hours to my destination of Sonora…I could make it and I still felt surprisingly good. Another cup of coffee and hit Hwy 49, by day a scenic winding road…at night it was a little more challenging, especially when I missed a turn and ended up 10 miles in the wrong direction.

I finally pulled into the home of Andre and Stephanie at 1:30am on Friday morning. Allowing for time changes I arrived 17 hours (800 miles) after leaving Evanston, WY on Thursday morning. If there was any doubt that I should not have returned to California, this feat disproved that. Still not ready for sleep, Stephanie and I sat up a talked over several glasses of wine until nearly 5am.

Now I am resting, reflecting and realigning for what is next. I feel the need to settle, ground and refine my work as a communicator and awakener….the title of my theater production has taken on new meaning also… “Awakening and Igniting Ecstasy In-Formation”. I’m not sure what it will look like, however, I hope you will join me on that journey.

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See Storytelling on Sidebar

for the Conclusion of  A Trip for Chocolate!


Mars is Direct Again, thankfully!

Many of you may have noticed this week, on March the 10th to be exact, something shifted and things happened very unexpectedly. Mars went direct after three months of “perceivably going backwards”. Astrology is one of the Oh So Ancient Sciences that can give us great clues into what is happening yet by no means is the absolute! Nothing is absolute, especially now!

Mars is the planet associated with fire, action, courage, war, defiance, impulse, the warrior. So very simple put – so much that has been held back, put on the backburner, covered up to avoid exposure, no matter whether in the physical life and world, avoidance of emotional and mental issues, avoiding personal strength and courage, etc., is now able to move ahead but probably not at a snail’s pace as most would like. It will be in your face with no disguises.

There is a gently side to Mars and actions taken, they can be gentle yet firm, direct yet compassionate, courageous and grounded. The key is to take a deep breath and let it out, ground to the earth, be patience and most of all TRUST your own intuition of what to do, say, be…..I have a strong Mars influence in my chart and am speaking from successful and painful experience.

This turn around has put 2010 into full speed ahead……..make yours great through your own choices! For more detailed astrology information contact an astrologer, read books and search the Net. 


New Moon Sadhana begins 5am on March 14th to 24th at The Flying Lotus

 Sadhana is the Morning Call to become present in the awakening day.

So what is Sadhana and why on earth should I get up at that hour to sing!

I asked that same question back in December when the first one was announced. Prema Siri Kaur, our Kundalini teacher announced she would like to introduce us and the greater Mt Shasta community to a tradition of meditation and chanting brought to America by Yogi Bhajan. (do your own research)

Prema cautiously announced “this will be a 21 day powerful meditation/chanting combination to begin at 4am each morning. We will begin with japji (prayer) followed by 30 minutes or so of light warm up yoga and then chant the long Ek Ong Kaar prayer for 2 ½ hours.” Prem was observing our reactions with a slight smile……4am!!!!!  My light-hearted immediate response was “you probably won’t see me there at 4am; I am definitely not a morning person!”

The next two nights I did not sleep very well, in fact, I was awake at around 3:30-4:00am. I had the thoughts of what the meditation would be like, its purpose, what could be gained, etc. and a small voice in the background that kept reminding me “you will be there, it is important!” I had no idea why the importance.

Wednesday morning at 3:15am the alarm went off. Taking a deep breathe I got out of the warm bed and start getting ready. At 3:30am I was driving the ten miles into the Mt Shasta studio. Some mornings there was not a soul on the road, not a sound, a breath of wind. Just stillness and peace! I grew to really appreciate this peace.

That first morning our small group gathered. Grael, Tony, Lori and myself, with Prema guiding our way. Her peace, beauty and presence shining forth! After japji and yoga we prepared for this first experience.                     

Ek Ong Kaar, Sat Naam, Siree Waaha Guru

For 2 ½ hours these words resonated out from each of us. And then all rested in stillness for a time; most falling asleep in the still wee dark hours of these winter mornings.

Each morning the core group turned up, plus one to four others. These extra people came and went as was right for them, each morning forming a very different circle of energy resonating out to the community and beyond. By morning 7 or so the core group had grown, sometimes 12-13 people arrived, and the balance of male/female equaled out. There were even mornings when there were more men present and this was acknowledged as a gift to all. Mornings 10, 12, 14 and on were passed and completion on morning 21.

Prema had shared with us that her teachers and peers had encouraged her not to start with the most difficult and challenging morning call, but rather with lengths of  chants 11/22/31 minutes in less days. She assured them “this is Mt Shasta, they can handle it!”

There were definitely challenges to get through each morning, just starting with getting up and out the door. Sitting wrapped in a warm blanket, staying focused and present with the song, struggling to stay awake and then succumbing to a brief rest, changing position to move muscles, stilling the chattering mind saying “why am I here!”  Each person’s experience was very personal and kept within them.

After this 21 days sadhana was complete it was decided to begin another sadhana at the next moon and continue this cycle.  These would be 11 day cycles and each would have a different focus. So far there have been 11 day – Sadhana for the Aquarian Age and 11 day – Hara, Hara, Hara. Tomorrow, Sunday, March 14 at 5am we begin another 11 day cycle.

Our last two sadhana’s were much small groups, mostly woman yet always anchored by at least one man when called for. So often Tony was our anchor, quietly holding his strong creative spirit as the balanced, pivotal point. I have learned over the years, too much female energy can be just as damaging and unfulfilling as too much male energy. The respectful balancing and merging of both is crucial in all areas of life now.

What I have learned from these experiences is difficult to define in words. My morning guidance is stronger and more direct. It has been a test of commitment and community, as well as that always true knowing that heart-centered purpose moves far beyond physicality. My physical balance and groundedness’ has strengthened and I am in gratitude of all that is coming into my life now so I may move to the next level in this mission.

If you are curious to know more, join the group when it is right for you, even if it just one morning. If you are not in this area, contact a Kundalini Yoga teacher/studio in your area and ask about Sadhana. Each teacher, facilitator brings their own unique energy and dedication to the circle, and we can all be student and teacher in the same moment.

If this does not resonate with you yet you are still seeking something, ask for what is right to be shown to you, either through a person, a place, an action, whatever is clear and true. Follow that and see the illumination ahead!



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